harry styles + chewing
#I am just saying here #this could totally be a university AU #and that’s a fairly polite reminder to Young Harold that potential students don’t need to see that particular attraction #or #well #they don’t need to see that until they’re ACTUALLY ATTENDING university #c’mon somebody do the thing (via foolishrabbit)
EXASPERATED RA LIAM PAYNE!!!!! have more beautiful words ever been written? no. never. but also, clearly this is the sign the RA puts up after his friend the tour guide begs him to do something about how constantly nude and terrible his residents are when tour groups come through, you know? i feel like niall is a tour guide, NO ONE HAS EVER LOVED THIS UNIVERSITY LIKE NIALL, he’s its biggest fan, when tour groups try to trip him up by asking questions like “ok, but what’s your least favorite thing about this school?” he gives awful shit-eating answers like “HAHA PROBABLY THAT I ONLY GET TO SPEND FOUR YEARS HERE!” and the thing is, though, he’s not even kidding.
but like. the dorm he takes tour groups through has these fucking TERRIBLE BIZARRE CHILDREN LIVING IN IT????? this ridiculous freshman with inexplicable hair who quite possibly does not actually own any clothing, and his frankly terrifying manic roommate who sees tour groups coming and like… starts pretending to have a seizure in the middle of the hall or something, just for shits and giggles, just to see what they’ll do, while curly stands in the doorway of their room and doubles over (still naked) with laughter. and ok, niall doesn’t mind, actually, he thinks it’s fucking hilarious, if he weren’t leading the tour groups he’d probably join in on terrifying them himself, but a few weeks into the semester he hurts his knee and that puts him out of commission on the tour guiding front for a while, walking backwards is hard enough with two fully functional legs, you know?
zayn (art student, does work-study in admissions helping to design viewbooks and stuff) ends up taking over some of his tour shifts and like, he’s ok at it, tends to mumble sometimes and has a bad habit of saying things like, oh, the best thing about the university is that it’s close enough to home that he can go see his family on weekends sometimes, which is NICE and all but not necessarily informative to prospective students, you know? but he gets the hang of it fast enough—and anyhow, it’s like, his third tour or something, and he’s taking the group through the dorm talking housing policy when a boy with a ridiculous mop of curls walks out of the bathroom entirely naked, calling “louis, have you seen my—oh. hi.” dimples everywhere, looking innocent as anything, as if he hasn’t been doing this to tour groups since the second week of the semester, and just. no.
so zayn finishes up the tour, drags them back to admissions (“you did not warn me about that dorm,” he mutters to niall, who’s sitting behind the desk with his leg propped up and nearly chokes on his own laughter when he sees zayn’s face) and then heads back there, wanders the hall a bit until he sees a door labeled “RA” and—hmm. liam payne. didn’t they have freshman english together? and wasn’t he, like, this weird awkward kid? zayn isn’t quite sure how he manages as an RA. no wonder his residents are such a disaster. anyhow—he knocks on the door, and, oh. well. someone’s grown up a bit. “uh, hi, i’m from admissions, your residents are terrible,” he says by way of a greeting, and—“i know,” says liam, immediately, almost like it’s a relief to hear someone else say it. “they’re awful.” a pause. “i mean, no, i love them, but—” he trails off. zayn stares at him. “can you, like, do something about it, though?” “i’ve tried,” liam says, “i have tried so. much.” “could you not—like, a sign, maybe? can you put up a sign?” liam blinks at him, like it’s a shocking new idea that’s never occurred to him before. “that’s—yes. i could do a sign.” “great,” zayn says, “thanks,” and walks away, and it doesn’t occur to him until he’s halfway across campus to wonder whether liam remembers who he is.
for his part, liam absolutely remembers zayn, remembers the art student from english 101, remembers being vaguely concerned that he was too obvious in his attempts to see what zayn was doodling in the margins of his notes but also being unable to stop himself from looking. remembers being generally just a bit too intrigued by him. so like. if zayn wants a sign, he gets a sign. obviously. as liam prints it out, he wonders idly if zayn will come back and check to see if he’s done it.
liam marches down the hall and knocks on the door to harry and louis’ room, brandishing the sign like a shield. “we have rules now,” he says upon entering. “this is going up on the wall just outside your door, ok? you have to follow the rules. everyone does, but you two especially. here’s a list of tour times. the first rule is that you have to wear clothes during them.” harry, who’s sitting on the bottom bunk and thankfully at least wearing boxers, says, “oh, you heard—that happened again, i’m sorry—” “no, you’re not!” says liam, and—“it’s true, he’s not,” chimes in louis in a song-song voice, from where he’s… hanging upside down off the top bunk? weird. “heyyyyyyy,” harry mutters, swinging a hand out lazily to hit him, and louis grabs the hand and licks it, and harry squeals, and liam genuinely has no idea what goes on in this room 99.5% of the time, and he’d truly prefer that it remain that way. “ANYHOW,” he says loudly. “RULES. see that you follow them!” liam leaves, though he’s honestly not certain either louis or harry notice, still entirely caught up in some sort of bizarre half-upside down combination slapfight slash possible makeout. he shuts the door behind him and sighs.
how the hell is it only october?
Photographic evidence of Justin throwing small minority children and smiling about it.
a 30 y/o drunk man came up to me in a nightclub the other night and said “the economy might be shit but at least we have niall horan”
i’m having trouble believing this
i live in ireland the only thing irish men love more than themselves is niall horan